Please Don't Grow Up Too Fast

Dear Sam,

I can't believe you are now two and a half years old. It amazes me each time I look at you and see how much you've grown. While you were growing, I know that I have both my shortcomings and glories. Please forgive Mommy for the things that she may have overlooked. I know I could have done better with feeding you the right kind of food when you were still small. You wouldn't have the difficulty of eating with other kids now that you are going to Kindergarten. I know I could have done a better job of regularly cleaning your mouth and brushing your teeth the moment your first tooth came out. You wouldn't resist brushing your teeth before you go to bed these days. I know I could have trained you with drinking your milk from a cup when you were able enough to use one. You wouldn't be drinking from a feeding bottle these days. I know I could have been more firm when it comes to implementing rules. You wouldn't have difficulty cooperating and listening to instructions. But perhaps, I love you too much to be lenient with you at such a young age. I know I should have done better but I did not. And I am sorry. I hope that you will learn to adjust well... that you will be fine while you are at the Kindergarten. 

Know that you always make me proud because you have the capacity to adjust to the situation that you are in. I saw how you can get along easily with other kids and the thought that my little girl is making friends always gives a smile on my face and leaves me beaming with pride. I always find your genuine interest in people touching and I hope that you never lose that attitude as you grow older and more aware of your surroundings and the people around you.  I know that I have to allow other people into your life and take a little step back so that I won't get in the way of your learning other things. I also know now that I cannot totally shield and protect you from the outside world and so I promise to guide you in every way I can.

Just know that your Daddy and I only want what's best for you. And so we pray that God will give us enough strength and love to guide you in your journey. We love you Sam. You will always be our little girl. So please don't grow up too fast.

Love,
Mommy

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The GLUE That Holds Us Together

I received this message from my former mentor and manager when I was still working my butt off in the corporate world. It's got something to do with our anatomy and laminins and how amazing God really is! I just thought it worth sharing here.

A couple of days ago I was running (I use that term very loosely) on my treadmill, watching a DVD sermon by Louie Giglio... And I was BLOWN AWAY!

I want to share what I learned.... But I fear not being able to convey it as well as I want. I will share anyway.

He (Louie) was talking about how inconceivably BIG our God is... How He spoke the universe into being... How He breathes stars out of His mouth that are huge raging balls of fire, Etc. Etc.

Then He went on to speak of how this star-breathing, universe creating God ALSO knitted our human bodies together with amazing detail and wonder. At this point I am LOVING it (fascinating from a medical standpoint, you know)... And I was remembering how I was constantly amazed during medical school as I learned more and more about God's handiwork. I remember so many times thinking... 'How can ANYONE deny that a Creator did all of this???'

Louie went on to talk about how we can trust that the God who created all this, also has the power to hold it all together when things seem to be falling apart.. how our loving Creator is also our sustainer.

And then I lost my breath. And it wasn't because I was running my treadmill, either!!!

It was because he started talking about laminin. I knew about laminin.

Here is how Wikipedia describes them:
'Laminins are a family of proteins that are an integral part of the structural scaffolding of basement membranes in almost every animal tissue.'

You see... Laminins are what hold us together.. LITERALLY. They are cell adhesion molecules. They are what holds one cell of our bodies to the next cell. Without them, we would literally fall apart. And I knew all this already. But what I didn't know is what they LOOKED LIKE. But now I do.

And I have thought about it a thousand times since (already)... Here is what the structure of laminin looks like... AND THIS IS NOT a 'Christian portrayal' of it...

If you look up laminin in any scientific/medical piece of literature, this is what you will see...

Now tell me that our God is not the coolest!!! Amazing. The glue that holds us together..... ALL of us.... Is in the shape of the cross.

Immediately Colossians 1:15-17 comes to mind.

'He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation.For by him all things were created; things in heaven and on earth,visible And invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were created by him and for him. He is before all things, and in Him all things HOLD TOGETHER.' (Colossians 1:15-17)

Call me crazy. I just think that is very, very, very cool. Thousands of years before the world knew anything about laminin, Paul penned those words.

And now we see that from a very LITERAL standpoint, we are held together... One cell to another... By the cross.

You would never in a quadrillion years convince me that is anything Other than the mark of a Creator who knew EXACTLY what laminin 'glue' would look like long before Adam breathed
his first breath!!

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There's Always A Way...

I am just amazed at how perfect God's timing is. He has always worked in ways when you least expect it. And I am just thankful because He has answered our prayers yet again. Even if we sometimes fail to give thanks and praise, His love is steadfast. Even if we stumble and fall, He still leads us back to the right path. Even if we sometimes become too comfortable with our lives and forget that all these came from him, He didn't stop providing for us. I am writing this in testimony that indeed, with God, nothing is impossible. He always works in ways that we never thought possible. And when God works, it's always for the BEST.

Shame on me who sometimes doubts whether things can be done or not. God has yet again knocked in my heart, making me realize that for as long as put our entire faith in Him, nothing is possible. There will always be a way. God will make a way. He is the way.

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Should We Stay Or Should We Go?

When Hubby came home from work yesterday, he told me that his boss talked to him about his career options within the company. Because he is on an international assignment, much of the discussion was focused on what his training design would he should he decide to stay or should he decide to go back to Japan after his assignment contract.

He was sharing me this because he wanted me think it over in the next few days what I want and where I really want to settle down. Here in Germany or back in Japan... There are lots of pros and cons to consider on both sides and I know that I should weigh them all out well.

We had a good life in Japan... Although it was filled with challenges on my part because I never really got to learn the language, it is where we really toughed it out and where it all began for us as a family. We have friends who have become dear to us and we immensely miss them. There are also lots of conveniences that we missed while in Japan: the Sunday shopping, the fresh seafood, its geographical location.

Our present location also afforded us with lots of benefits because we are on assignment. Should we decide to stay for good, all the benefits of being on international assignment will be removed. No more company paid rent, no more free annual home trips. And because our present abode is furnished, we would need to purchase home furniture and move to a smaller and cheaper place once the assignment contract ends. Germany is also very, very far from the Philippines. The good thing about living here though is that this is where our child grew up. She has found some friends and she will also be starting school soon. I also had the opportunity to study the language and to go back to school. We also have regular meet ups with the Catholic Filipino community here so that our adjustment became easier.

I am writing this all down so that when I think again, I will have this for reference as I tend to forget things. We wouldn't want to regret our decision later because that would only make our staying or going unhappy.

Whatever decision we may come up, I hope that it will be what's best for the family.

So, what do you think? What have you got to say? Should we stay or should we go?

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Thursday is Fronleichnam

I am lucky to be living in a Catholic state here in Germany because I am able to practice my belief / religion freely. But did I tell you that the state imposes religious tax? I think you have to pay 3% of your net income for religious tax. This is probably the reason why many people here have chosen to declare themselves atheists. But whether one pays religious taxes or not, one is still welcome to join the services or Gottesdienst. The church doors are always open for everyone. However, if you want to have your child baptized or confirmed or have their first communion, I think that is the time when you really need to pay your taxes.

But anyway, we just celebrated the Pentecost, the time when the Holy Spirit descended upon the apostles. The church thinks of the Pentecost as the birth of the church. On Thursday, June 3rd is another Catholic celebration: the Fronleichnam or Corpus Christi, where we honor the Holy Eucharist. That means, it is going to be another public holiday in most of the German states. I consider that Eucharist as an important aspect of my Catholic life because through it, I am in communion with God as I partake of the bread and wine. As Catholics, we see to it that we hear mass and take part in the Eucharist every Sunday. With the service done in German, it is quite difficult to focus. But a priest friend once told us that even if you do not understand everything that the priest is saying during the service, you still receive grace. And that is what matters.

I hope everyone has a beautiful month of June! May you all be blessed.

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Inspirations

This is my official entry to Inspirational Insights 1st Blogversary Contest.

As a first-time expat Mom, I have had my fair share of struggles and tears. I know that many stay at home moms just like me have their own struggles as well, some may even be greater than mine. But I have always tried to be strong for my family. In most times, I succeeded. In some cases, I break down and cry. You could ask my Hubby... he is witness to all my struggles and pains.

There are instances in my life when I felt like giving up and giving in to my problems, but I cannot afford to be selfish. I have a family who depends on me and I am responsible for them. I cannot imagine what I did in order to rise above but looking back, I always see my Hubby and my daughter by my side... even when I was at my worst. And I realize that it is them, my little family, who has helped me emerge victorious from all my troubles. They are constantly the ones cheering me on. And whether I admit it or not, there is no question that it is them who inspires me, who lifts me up, who stays by side through thick and them. And for that, I am most THANKFUL.

It is the little things that they do that inspires me to be a better wife and a better Mom. Just seeing them happy and content, playing together, having a laugh, giving me those lovesick puppy look, the little but unexpected surprises, the gentle touches, the hugs and kisses, the travels and adventures along the way... all these inspire me and help me discover that indeed happiness and love and strength is just right before my very eyes.

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Some Wonderful Changes

I have been neglecting this blog for quite some time now. I know there's no room for me to make excuses because I am able to update my main blog, Just About Anything, on an almost daily basis. And while prayer is an essential part of my routine, I just can't bring myself to write down what my heart is saying. And so instead of waiting for the right moment to arrive, I have decided to make a few changes in this blog. The blog title is still the same but you will find that the tag line has changed.

Of course, this blog will still contain my spiritual reflections and prayers. But I have decided for the most part to make it a point that I share my life's journey and some of my reflections of the day here. I acknowledge that everyday is not always rose-colored but I also believe that there is goodness and beauty and happiness in the not-so-beautiful circumstances that life has to offer. And so beginning today, I am taking each day one step at a time.

I hope I will be able to do justice to this blog and be able to inspire and encourage the people around me. It is with the hope that through my life experiences, I may have been able to empower and inspire others especially those whom I share similar circumstances with.

The road ahead may not be certain but with a wonderful family, equally wonderful friends and a good Lord to back me up, I know and I believe that I will make it through.

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