Falling In Love

I was running on the cross-trainer this evening, sweating my fats out, listening to my mp3 player full blast and watching the TV screen so that I may refrain from looking at the equipment monitor that displays my progress. I have quite a large collection of foreign songs in my m3 player so that I can choose how my pace should be: fast, normal, slow. The more upbeat the song, the faster I become and the more calories I am able to burn.

I was about to skip this one particular slow song when I heard that it had different yet very familiar tune. I decided otherwise and just listened to it. It has been a while since I last heard this song by Lisa Loeb called Falling in Love. The song has a nice message, and tells of the story of a woman who wanted to be a cowboy but who in the end found her man. I particularly love the lines: "The time between meeting and finally leaving is sometimes called falling in love."

This song is particularly played in the TV series Grey's Anatomy, which is now in it's 6th season. I have been way behind when it comes to watching this series and I seriously have a lot of catching up to do. I don't even know who Teddy and Owen are anymore! But I just love the drama and the quest of the doctors to save lives and the challenges and ordeals that they face, both personally and professionally.

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God of My Life

Only in love can I find you, my God.
In love the gates of my soul spring open,
allowing me to breathe a new air of freedom
and forget my own petty self.In love my whole being streams forth
out of the rigid confines of narrowness and anxious self-assertion,
which makes me a prisoner of my own poverty and emptiness.
In love all the powers of my soul flow outward to you,
wanting never more to return, but to lose themselves completely in you,
since by your love you are the inmost center of my heart,
closer to me than I am to myself.

But when I love you,when I manage to break out of the narrow cirle of self
and leave behind the restless agony of unanswered questions,
when my blinded eyes no longer look merely from afar
and from the outside upon your unapproachable brightness,
and much more when you yourself, O Incomprehensible One,
have become through love the inmost center of my life,
then I can bury myself entirely in you, O mysterious God,
and with myself all my questions.
- Karl Rahner SJ

This is a Jesuit prayer so profound and full of faith and love in God that simply explains that only in love can man find God. I really love the words in this prayer as they are very powerful and can really be felt. I hope I had Fr. Rahner's eloquent words to express my love for God yet words seem to abandon me. Perhaps it is because I have not really and totally surrendered myself to Him who is Mysterious and All-Knowing. As a Christian, I still consider myself as lacking or inadequate in faith. I admit I still have a lot to learn and the journey is still long until I can finally say that I have buried myself entirely in God. I am still seeking for answers to the many questions in life. It is said that if you entrust everything to God, then you need not ask questions but instead, completely give Him control of your life. But human as I am, I still have the tendency to reason and choose my will over God's. I know I still have a lot to learn. And I know that I have to one day break out of my narrow-mindedness and allow God to rule in my life so that I may totally feel His Most Sacred Love for me.

May God bless us always.

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