God of My Life

>> Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Only in love can I find you, my God.
In love the gates of my soul spring open,
allowing me to breathe a new air of freedom
and forget my own petty self.In love my whole being streams forth
out of the rigid confines of narrowness and anxious self-assertion,
which makes me a prisoner of my own poverty and emptiness.
In love all the powers of my soul flow outward to you,
wanting never more to return, but to lose themselves completely in you,
since by your love you are the inmost center of my heart,
closer to me than I am to myself.

But when I love you,when I manage to break out of the narrow cirle of self
and leave behind the restless agony of unanswered questions,
when my blinded eyes no longer look merely from afar
and from the outside upon your unapproachable brightness,
and much more when you yourself, O Incomprehensible One,
have become through love the inmost center of my life,
then I can bury myself entirely in you, O mysterious God,
and with myself all my questions.
- Karl Rahner SJ

This is a Jesuit prayer so profound and full of faith and love in God that simply explains that only in love can man find God. I really love the words in this prayer as they are very powerful and can really be felt. I hope I had Fr. Rahner's eloquent words to express my love for God yet words seem to abandon me. Perhaps it is because I have not really and totally surrendered myself to Him who is Mysterious and All-Knowing. As a Christian, I still consider myself as lacking or inadequate in faith. I admit I still have a lot to learn and the journey is still long until I can finally say that I have buried myself entirely in God. I am still seeking for answers to the many questions in life. It is said that if you entrust everything to God, then you need not ask questions but instead, completely give Him control of your life. But human as I am, I still have the tendency to reason and choose my will over God's. I know I still have a lot to learn. And I know that I have to one day break out of my narrow-mindedness and allow God to rule in my life so that I may totally feel His Most Sacred Love for me.

May God bless us always.

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